Rock Never Felt So Good

Insert ominous creaking of door and relevant orchestrated music. (Try a pipe organ, it's fun) Crap, where's the maid when you need one? This place is filthy, I need Garfield to get rid of all these spiders. Stupid cobwebs! This place has got all the settings for a scary movie.

A few hours and a few smokes later

Yea ok! I made a big deal about not posting anything here for a long time. But the place is clean now, that's something right? I've been away for a long time now, literally, figuratively and any other adverbs you can think of. Been down, been out. I wanted to avoid people, I wanted to things to fall back in to place. The way everything was. Can't have everything, can we now?

The last couple of posts have been kind of direct, not particularly abstract. Well I'll be a little obvious for a while since I've kept a few close friends in the dark. But then my propensity towards melodrama (Yea ok, I just downright ham everything) will not permit deviation from it for too long. I am bad, dealing with emotional pain, I really am. It feels like I am in a warzone, battling everything from the Sith Lord to the Vogons to Corpulent Women in Spandex. (Ok, I am bullshitting more than actually hamming, so I think that speaks a lot for my mood.)

If you idiots (It's an affectionate term I use for friends, again proof that overall my mood and general state of mind is normal. MY normal, before the protests start.) remember a post titled What I Really Am , I mentioned in it about falling in a bottomless pit, where at one point of time you lose sensation of the fact that you're falling. I've been there, and when I got out of it, I didn't want to go back there. Maybe because of this, I kept trying to hold on to something that wasn't there. Screwed my head up majorly in the process. For better understanding of the bottomless abyss theory, just go read that thing again, I've taken the pains to link it, knowing you people would be too lazy to actually look for it. I also know that you don't remember it too well, so just go read it. I'll go have a smoke in the meantime.

I avoided writing, partly because I was putting all my energy into photography and partly because my words were just making me worse. Leaving myself alone with my mind was hazardous. I didn't need to log my battles with my self; my feelings, my frustration. It was like medieval torture (hey the ham's back!) having my mind strapped to quartering machines or being stuffed into the iron maiden. Actually the bullshit is back. Check this out. I am actually thinking of this being used elsewhere. Not on me. That is kind of the point I'm trying to make. My healing mechanism finally kicked in. I think it needs to lubricated. It should have kicked in a long time back.

My mind was like this blog, in various states of disrepair, needed a lot of junk thrown out and having the place all cleaned up. It shouldn't have lasted this long, but it did. Big deal. I had become someone else but now I think I'm returning. Not too far off. Perspective's changing already. I'm no longer driving off into the sunset. The day has just begun. Metallica blasting on the car sterero and Rammstein all queued up. So palms facing downward, fingers to the side of my head, here's my salute to the rising sun, as I push the shift, and drive into the light.

Rock has never sounded better.