Twisted Indifference

Lethargic Reporting Part II

2007-12-03T03:56:00.001-08:00

The Times of India does not publish the news. They prefer being the cause of it. December 1, 2007. Article on the front page, by Kavita Kukday. The reason for the furore?

"Credit card info on bhel wrapper"

The article went on to elaborately explain how a media professional found the complete details of a credit card on a bhel wrapper. Kavita also went on to claim that the details were for an American Express credit card. This was followed by the usual information, there was a name printed but withheld. Both the 16 digit card number and the 3 digit batch number were present.

No mistakes there right? Beeep! Wrong Answer! Classic case of lethargy in reporting. AmEx cards have 15 digits not 16. Their batch number is 4 digits not 3. I reiterate. How difficult is it to use Google? I really think that they have gone to enough lengths to make their interface as user friendly as possible.

If a Google search is not the problem, then what is? If you insist that the credit card number was 16 digits, then the card could not have been AmEx. If you claim that the card was AmEx and there were 16 digits noted on the paper maybe you should consider a course on spotting fraudulent credit cards.

A few must reads for Kavita:

An article with an almost exhaustive list of credit cards and ISO 7812 numbering scheme in Wikipedia

A similar article as above, without the list but explained in complete layman's terms. Fireworks Zone
I like the way the article starts. Perfect for people getting acquainted with credit cards.

I understand mistakes can happen. I make them too. I still subscribe to TOI.

Lethargic Reporting

2007-12-03T02:50:00.000-08:00

Is there a loophole in the law that allows newspapers to put in all the wrong data in their articles? The Pune Times, a supplement of the Times of India, on November 20, 2007 had written an article titled 'Riding Their Dreams'. The TNN correspondent was Nozia Sayyed. I should commend them on their choice of fillers. If this is the kind of articles they are publishing, a typical work day just might resemble this:

"Hey we have a quarter page worth of free space left, what do we do about it?"
"Hmmm, when was the last time we ran a story on superbikes in the city? It's been a while right? Rearrange the words and just toss it in."

I have a request, please do not expect all your readers to be misinformed idiots! An excerpt from that article,

"Foreign bikes like Hayabusa, Harley Davidson, Honda CBR, Repsol, Kawasaki and Suzuki...".

Yes, very nice, you know the names of the manufacturers. You have definitely educated me. I mean here I was thinking that Repsol was a Spanish oil and gas company. I never knew that over the years of sponsoring the Honda MotoGP Class team they had gone ahead and started manufacturing their own motorcycles. My bad! I was not aware that slapping a paint job on a bike is enough to be placed in the Motorcycle Manufacturer's List.

I seriously cannot understand this. You type this out on a computer. Presuming your knowledge of computers is more than that of Superbikes, is running a Google or Wikipedia Search that difficult? I would be very particular about an article or photograph that carries my name in the byline.

If this is the level of initiative shown by TNN Correspondents, the terms 'news' and 'reporting' need to be redefined.

What! Me Sarcastic?

2007-11-21T03:29:00.000-08:00

One of my closest friends and 24/7 tech support recently relocated back to Pune. One of the biggest advantages of that apart from having tech support hands on instead of over the phone is that we can catch up for dinner. I shall spare you the details of my continued dislike of impersonal communication.

Dinner at Burger King, he mentions with his ever increasing knowledge of things computer and internet related (not to be confused with his ever increasing paunch) that the ad network companies that supply your daily (over)dose of annoying pop ups are lobbying to make pop up blockers illegal. Their reason? It affects their revenue.

I absolutely agree. Advertising is the best way to get your product out there. So what if you have to cause a visual overload of caustic pop-ups, pop-unders and their kith and kin? People need to know you make the best goods in the market. What better way of doing it than having the loudest colours making even louder interruptions to your peaceful blogging. There is money out there to be made, don't you know the more you annoy a person the more he will like you and your product? Following are the people who should follow (law)suit.

Car and Bike Companies vs. Public Transport - They use your cheap ass buses and trains and think it's a good replacement for our products. Burn them at the stake. Pollution is good.

The general public vs. the car companies - Stop putting rev limiters on our vehicles. I want my blown engine.

Phishers vs. Companies that educate their clients about safe banking for example. Hey I bust my ass stealing your identity even when you're an idiot. Now they make you smart? I have a wife and kids to feed Your Honour.

You know what that leads to, thieves suing companies making burglar alarms. The biggest case would probably be the Criminals suing the Cops if the lawyers didn't have to worry about which side their client actually belonged too.

I say ban ad blockers. Let the revenue stream go unhindered. Companies like, umm wait what was the last ad?

Oh right, sorry, what ad? I use Firefox.

Beauty Pageants

2007-08-03T01:25:00.001-07:00

I shall be shooting at one, in the evening today. I will try and put it up on my Flickr account asap. Incidentally they aren't up there yet, so people who have gone ahead and clicked on the link above under presumptions of viewing images of hot women need to read the post properly and check back over the week end.

Why Me?

2007-06-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

Best explained here.

Angst Unleashed

2007-06-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

This one is a sort of an addendum I guess to a post made by Bombay Addict. While what follows may not match the outrageous intensity of the signs on his post, these are still worth a mention. I should also probably point out here that the the images you see here were taken in Bombay . Tilak bridge off Dadar Railway Station to be more precise.

Graffiti in Pune or Bombay has generally been restricted to political campaigns (smear or otherwise) and general ads made cheaply by painting a public wall and adding the name of the product. Regulars of Bombay local trains will definitely know what I'm talking about. In Pune, there is a lot of graffiti that can be seen on ruined buildings, abandoned houses and even historic monuments. We have upturned crosses adorned with 666. They cater to all masses, even to a paradox lover like me. St. Bitch! Too bad I didn't get the snap of that one. I did click the upturned cross though.

All these snaps were taken with my cell phone cam. They were taken with the sole purpose of reference. My professional snaps can be found here.

Back to the topic at hand. I was at Dadar to pick up my Nikon D200. The silent curses that rang beneath my placid demenour on realizing that they forgot to reserve my model shall be saved for later. Suffice to say, I was in no mood to return to Pune immediately. I like being in Bombay too much, but what do I do? It was a weekday and all my friends were at work. I would be working too, if I had the camera but then I did say I wouldn't digress. I was walking on the bridge, decided to hoof it since I've developed this weird fascination for walking short to medium distances when in Bombay. The first few signs painted along the bridge escaped my attention, passed it off as random graffiti.

Then I came along one that managed to stop me in my tracks. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or raise an eyebrow and do a skeptical 'hmmm'. It is of course beyond the point here to mention that I cannot raise a single eyebrow no matter how hard I try.

MILF culture depicted by simple yet effective means.

Just kept getting better,

I am aware that I depicted the last one in unfair light and that there are cleaner interpretations of it, but I really don't care. I had a good laugh out of the whole thing and it even made up slightly for not receiving my camera.

Of course the one that completely made my day was the one towards the end of the bridge. A sort of an auto-advisory board I guess.

All and all, a fun walk, worth being soaked to the bone in sweat.

Weekly Updates

2007-05-31T20:53:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine insisted that I need to spend more time with the blogs. The one you're reading as well as this one. He's got a point, what's the use of having a broadband connection at home and two blogs, one of which is paid web space if I do not spend enough time on it. Not like I didn't have a good reason to, I mean if you're either shooting or post processing in photoshop for the major part of the day, writing regularly tends to take a backseat.

This is my solution. I'll update on weekends. Whatever I have written here till now was generally abstract and/or fiction. That will obviously continue but I will make sure there are suitable updates in between posts. Digressing a little here since I'm unable to refer to both blogs distinctly as they have the same name.
(Note: I am not calling it version 1.0 and 2.0 and no beta cracks will be entertained. The person this is predominantly aimed at should consider that before sending in suggestions)

Anyway, while this blog will be open to all genres of writing, I will be discussing photography over here. That being said, I know tomorrow is the weekend, but I have to be in Bombay. I do have some stuff I want to put up, but if I can't do it later during the day, it will be up next week.

Ascension to a whole new plane of thought

2007-05-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

I have ignored this place for a couple of months now, been busy elsewhere. My services as a photographer now go under the brand name Twisted Indifference. It has been a helluva ride. The actual conceptualization of having my work under Twisted Indifference started in December 2006. Pune potholes are nothing compared to the road blocks I faced. Major issue was time. I was not able to start the process fully until February 2007. Everything said and done, the site for Twisted Indifference went up in April. I was finally there. Offering solutions for both glamour and industrial/product photography in Pune and Bombay. While still in its nascent stages, I have done work for a some of the best restaurants in town while some photos have been published by local tabloids.

Check the site out, for any photographic solutions, just get in touch with me. The more recent photos will be found on my Flickr page, they will soon be updated on the main site too.

Twisted Indifference Studios

The coolest blog party ever

2007-05-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

They dazzled us with their presence and amazed us with their hosting skills. The critics had no complaints and the revellers were left begging for more. The blog meet at Soul Fry was an unforgettable night. And now, they're at it again. Not content with resting on laurels, they're back with a Blog Party that promises to be, 'The Coolest Evah'. Without further ado, the queens of the blogging circuit... Sakshi and Melody.

Late Goodbye

2007-02-19T06:15:00.001-08:00

Twisted Indifference, originally uploaded by Twisted Indifference.

Your breath hot upon my cheek, and we crossed, that line
You made me strong when I was feeling weak, and we crossed, that one time
Screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes, keep on flashing, flashing by...

Poets of the Fall - Late Goodbye

Destination Unknown

2007-01-30T21:09:00.000-08:00

This one is in reply to Samir's post.

Driven By Dissatisfaction

You remember what they taught in Economics in school right? Demand always exceeds supply. Human want is endless etc etc. Everyone is driven by dissatisfaction. One thing that I have realized is that everyone wants acceptance. Everyone wants to be recognized for what they do. Everyone wants to be somewhere they belong. (Why do you think the song of the same name by Linkin' Park is so popular) If anyone tells you otherwise, they're either lying or they are deluded. In case it's the second, please refer them to an Introduction to Reality course. They can take the course anywhere they want, it's called Life.

Back to the topic at hand. The need to belong somewhere, whether it is some place to call home or gain acceptance into a community, it's all the same. Driven by dissatisfaction? I guess, to an extent... So what are you looking for? Happiness? Define it! What you call a moment of happiness or an emotion you would describe as elation or exuberance may not be similar for someone else. It's back to the whole 'One man's meat...' thing again. What remains similar here is the motive and the goal. People slaughter animals mercilessly to appease their 'Gods'. Others pose in skimpy clothes inside cages to fight for the animals' cause. Both attain their happiness here. Both gain their acceptance. Whether it is from their so called deities or from their peers.

The whole point behind this is simple. I'm not stopping you from having your own driving force. But some people spend their entire lifetime looking for acceptance, looking for one word of praise. My advice? Not resting on your laurels is admirable, but then stop and acknowledge whatever accolades that you may collect on the way. Consider it to be the shot of nitrous oxide that gives the necessary thrust to reach higher. What say you?

Necrosis of Tribulations

2007-01-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

This post is "Rock Never Felt So Good" with a different packaging. Hey Mephistopheles, this one's for you.

The wind carried the stench of death. Rotting corpses lying in the mud stained with their blood. You tread past the disfigured bodies of man and beast alike. You survey the area, there are heavy casualties. Nausea finally sets in, you wonder what took it so long. No longer aware of your location, spatial abilities not responding. The world goes white.

The wind kicks up a few notches. It rattles the window panes blowing the curtains apart. The last few dregs of sunlight filter in. You wake up with a start. You know it wasn't just a dream. It was all real. No matter how much you wish otherwise. The mind sub consciously goes back to those days. You brace yourself, you know the stinging pain the memory is going to rebound with. The second hand on the clock completes its trip. Nothing. Ok, it's a trap. Doesn't feel like one though, it wouldn't take this long to snap. There is a new feeling however; something which earlier was a low buzz now rising to almost defeaning proportions.

Slip out of bed, walk outside. The wind rushes past you face, slowly carving a smile. Realization dawns. You know what is happening. Not encountered in a long time, but the feeling is familiar. The sun has long set and the darkness wraps around you like armour. No more pain, no longer afraid. A new lease on life. As you walk out, you wonder how you berated yourself as you did earlier but the thoughts don't last. No longer bound to anything, just one thing on your mind. The bloodlust is back! This time, there will be no remorse.

Slip in to the shadows, occassionally stepping out into the light to let the moonlight wash over you. A creature of the night was what you always were. You relish the new found energy which radiates like an aura on steroids. Right on cue, the music starts. Power chords reverb like a growling V8. Drums echo their staccato beats. Strands of lyrics float through your head. ...Was bist du, Doch nur ein Tier! The smile grows wider, no longer just happiness as the glint of evil in the eyes reveal. Carpe noctum baby! It feels so good to be back.

Rock Never Felt So Good

2007-01-08T00:36:00.000-08:00

Insert ominous creaking of door and relevant orchestrated music. (Try a pipe organ, it's fun) Crap, where's the maid when you need one? This place is filthy, I need Garfield to get rid of all these spiders. Stupid cobwebs! This place has got all the settings for a scary movie.

A few hours and a few smokes later

Yea ok! I made a big deal about not posting anything here for a long time. But the place is clean now, that's something right? I've been away for a long time now, literally, figuratively and any other adverbs you can think of. Been down, been out. I wanted to avoid people, I wanted to things to fall back in to place. The way everything was. Can't have everything, can we now?

The last couple of posts have been kind of direct, not particularly abstract. Well I'll be a little obvious for a while since I've kept a few close friends in the dark. But then my propensity towards melodrama (Yea ok, I just downright ham everything) will not permit deviation from it for too long. I am bad, dealing with emotional pain, I really am. It feels like I am in a warzone, battling everything from the Sith Lord to the Vogons to Corpulent Women in Spandex. (Ok, I am bullshitting more than actually hamming, so I think that speaks a lot for my mood.)

If you idiots (It's an affectionate term I use for friends, again proof that overall my mood and general state of mind is normal. MY normal, before the protests start.) remember a post titled What I Really Am , I mentioned in it about falling in a bottomless pit, where at one point of time you lose sensation of the fact that you're falling. I've been there, and when I got out of it, I didn't want to go back there. Maybe because of this, I kept trying to hold on to something that wasn't there. Screwed my head up majorly in the process. For better understanding of the bottomless abyss theory, just go read that thing again, I've taken the pains to link it, knowing you people would be too lazy to actually look for it. I also know that you don't remember it too well, so just go read it. I'll go have a smoke in the meantime.

I avoided writing, partly because I was putting all my energy into photography and partly because my words were just making me worse. Leaving myself alone with my mind was hazardous. I didn't need to log my battles with my self; my feelings, my frustration. It was like medieval torture (hey the ham's back!) having my mind strapped to quartering machines or being stuffed into the iron maiden. Actually the bullshit is back. Check this out. I am actually thinking of this being used elsewhere. Not on me. That is kind of the point I'm trying to make. My healing mechanism finally kicked in. I think it needs to lubricated. It should have kicked in a long time back.

My mind was like this blog, in various states of disrepair, needed a lot of junk thrown out and having the place all cleaned up. It shouldn't have lasted this long, but it did. Big deal. I had become someone else but now I think I'm returning. Not too far off. Perspective's changing already. I'm no longer driving off into the sunset. The day has just begun. Metallica blasting on the car sterero and Rammstein all queued up. So palms facing downward, fingers to the side of my head, here's my salute to the rising sun, as I push the shift, and drive into the light.

Rock has never sounded better.

Flux in the Language

2006-11-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

Pronouns: First Person, Singular.
Tense: Preterite.

Is that how it ends? Watch this space.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

No Where To Go

2006-11-23T02:38:00.000-08:00

“Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it’s so white as snow,
Privately divided by a world so undecided and there’s no where to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder and it’s so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there’s no where to go.”
-Snow (Hey Oh) by Red Hot Chili Peppers

The first time I actually have included the chorus of a song. Generally I just nick a line from the lyrics. There’s a reason however, for me changing my format. First would be that I need the entire chorus to convey what I’m thinking. Second would be that this is the first time I’ve seen RHCP make so much sense in their lyrics. The song rocks, completely.

Left Click here for the disclaimer regarding the use of lines from songs.
Your left not mine. (Sorry Illiad couldn’t resist)

I couldn’t stop listening to the song, nor I could stop wondering about the lyrics. It actually makes so much sense. Skeletons in the closet or delusions, wanting to believe in something or just plain lying to yourself. Take your pick. It’s all there. Unbelievable, there’s another quote coming up. I believe it was George Bernard Shaw who said something about the two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire and the other is to gain it. True, you’d kill for what you want. At times only to realize that what you wanted was completely something else.

Incidentally if I quote someone again, please shoot me.

Moving on. Heart’s desire. You want something so badly that it hurts. The lack frustrates you to the point where you’re actually pulling your hair out. It can get so bad that you’re actually acting like a hopeless case junkie in rehab. You would go to any lengths to acquire it. Herein lies the wanting to believe and the lying to yourself. Blinded? Possibly. Logic seems to take the biggest hit. Even when you realize that you’re busting your ass trying to gain something that just goes further away the more you try you can’t stop. Why do we always chase something we cannot have? (Arggh! kill me now, that’s from Dangerous Liaisons) The answer’s immaturity by the way.

Now this post is getting hilarious. I don’t remember why I started writing this. I’m quoting other people and there’s hardly any originality left in this. Guess I can attribute it to my current frame of mind. Confused! My mind keeps fluctuating between emotions that are complete antitheses of each other. My take on reality at the moment is all convoluted. I think I need to write something once my mind clears up and I’m thinking straight again. Do I hear a resounding ‘HAH!’?

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
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If you wanna run cool...

2006-11-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

If you wanna run cool...
Originally uploaded by Twisted Indifference.

You've got to run, on Heavy Heavy Fuel!!
Maybe I should consider adding bottles of beer here? Complete the setup. Obviously I would have to change the location, I don't think bringing beer to office would be appreciated.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

There's Love If You Want It

2006-11-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

Hurts don't it? Two years of building your dream only to see it collapse into rubble. There's nothing you can do about it. Just watch it. Watch it fall apart, every brick a memory, a promise made. Your head spins at the speed at which reality dawns on you. An empty space where your castle in the sky once stood. A void in your heart where you cherished every moment. The moment's gone, the music's over, the bar's closed. Head home! Only you can't.

You don't want to. Or is just that you're too scared to step out? The pentagram's not going to protect you anymore. The sanctity's been breached. And again, YET freakin' again you didn't see it coming. The light at the end of the tunnel was the express train moron! It was not your delusion of salvation. Yea right! Love made your world go round? Brace yourself, this was just the beginning. You're not just alone, you're also on your knees. You've been brought there. You're caught in a sandstorm, every grain of sand, a dream that cannot be dreamt no more. Creating gashes in your skin, feeling it ripped apart and just begging for the pain to stop.

Spit the blood out, move it. You stop and look back, bad move. You know you can't let go. Can't let go of that hand which pulled you out of every damn crisis. Held you close every time the chips were down. Vanished any traces of previous scars. And it's this hand that put you here. Mistakes happen? I doubt it in this case. Why can't you just let go?

The tears subside, you have a little clarity. Survival instinct someone mentioned. You're making your way back home. The message you left was clear, yea there's love if you want it...

My Apologies Your Furriness!

2006-11-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

You woke me up for that?
Originally uploaded by Twisted Indifference.

That's Edison, and I'm his human. Note that he's asleep on what used to be my bed and waking him up from his slumber is not well received.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

Child Labour and Diwali

2006-10-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Two of the many things I cannot stand. Here's the irony, I hate kids. I just cannot stand them. I refuse to entertain them no matter whose kid it is. So why am I against child labour? It just one main reason, it's disgusting. You want to exploit someone, do it to someone who's capable of understanding what you're doing. We have progressed from the age where a malnourished kid would stand for ages in coal mines with a lamp, straining his ears for the roar of an oncoming cart just so he could open the door and let it through.

Why the kid? Cheap labour? Someone who isn't smart enough to question you back as to what you're making them do? Exploitation is omnipresent. And not necessarily in what the world might view as a Third World Country. Leave the kids alone though. OK, the reference to Pink Floyd here is unintentional. My point is, as much as I cannot stand kids, its not like a run them over with my car whenever I see one. And that is not just 'cos I'd get arrested for it. However, my reason for hating kids isn't on discussion here. What I mean to say is that, no matter how big a nuisance they are, they don't deserve this. Everyone has their own nuisance traits.

Which brings me to the second topic in the title. Diwali. Festival of lights, spare me. If the firecrackers wreaking havoc on my ears and my dog's sanity aren't enough, guess which labour force makes these freakin' high decibel headaches? No bloody points for guessing the right answer. How many of you have been inside a factory producing firecrackers? You wouldn't want those work hazards on adults let alone kids. Your lungs, yours skin, your eyes, all go for a toss when you work there. Forget the employers, how could the parents do something like that? Your own bloody child!

All of you protesting with 'the circumstances force them to', 'Do you know that they're living way below the poverty (BPL) line?', 'They have no other option' and similar stuff please raise your hands. I know poverty in India is harsh. I would probably not know how harsh since I wasn't born BPL, but I am perceptive enough to know it's not going to improve if the kids are exploited.

My appeal? Do not under any circumstances buy any firecrackers this Diwali. Stop supporting child labour. It's not worth it. Not asking you to spare my ears or my dog's sanity. We can take care of each other. But before you buy that load of crackers and pyrotechnic amusements, please realize that a kid who should be in school and playing in the sunlight sat in a dingy dark room to make that. They don't deserve this and you can stop it.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
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Withdrawal Symptoms

2006-10-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

Thursday, 1600 hrs:

My leave just got sanctioned. I was euphoric. Saturday and Sunday were going to be off anyway and I got an off from Monday to Wednesday. A sexy 5 day mini vacation. I was ecstatic and for good reason. Tuesday, 17^th October as most of you idiots reading this know is my birthday. Two things I hate doing during my birthday are studying and working. Basically anything where someone else is dictating terms. In the first case didn’t have too much of a choice as term exams always used to fall on my birthday in school. It used to drive me crazy but as I said had no choice.

Work. Now here I managed to escape it by requesting a leave. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. The erratic hours notwithstanding. I have fun there. But yea, it was kind of starting to take a toll on my body and it wouldn’t have been long before my body revolted. So the leave is for the best. At least I thought it would be.

Friday, 2100 hrs:

Almost time to close shop and head home and start my mini vacation. I should be feeling giddy with anticipation, act like a kid before summer holidays and jump around with excitement. None of those childish stunts accompanied by chants of “I have 5 days off’ materialized. I was depressed. What am I going to do with five days off? True Tuesday’s my birthday, obviously not going to work then but then I just upped and left my team there. Those guys count on me (I think!) for a lot of things. The thing is, in my position as a project co-ordinator I kind of look after my team. And it might be my ego thinking this way but it does feel like I have left them undefended.

I was double checking and colour coding a lot of things at the last moment so that these guys don’t have any hassles while I’m not there. I was already facing withdrawal symptoms and I wasn’t even out of the office yet. I am so sure I’m going to end up in office on Monday. Nothing to do with a sense of duty or getting the job done. And definitely not conscience. I think I’m addicted to my office. I spend 12 hours down there and I think it has grown on me.

Saturday, 1000 hrs:

Here I am writing this piece, wishing I was in office. I think I should be careful what I wish for. More to come, watch this space!

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
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Dude! Where’s my sanity?

2006-10-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

(In continuity from An Egotist’s…)

I was going to start this with a bunch of adjectives but then I decided against it. I have better plans for them. I have had it with morons who have made themselves too comfortable in their tiny little pathetic shells and refuse to accept a world beyond it. Whatever they already know is sacrosanct. If that is actually true, then yea I’m blasphemous! Wake up and smell the bloody progress.

It is not restricted to IT anymore. Whichever industry you work in you have to be on your toes. I hate to sound like a management workshop here but innovation is the key to a lot of things. I really don’t mean to stereotype, but some of you older guys out there please at least make an attempt to learn new stuff. And yea! No bigger crime than having a younger guy explaining something to you right? I’m not making a plea for ethics here, why would I ask for something I myself don’t have? But please spare me your inconsequential grappling with your insecurities.

I’m not saying I’m perfect. There always is someone wielding a bigger club. But at least I make an effort. At least I compete. A very old adage, shape up or ship out.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

An Egotist’s Myopia

2006-10-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

How blind can a person with sight get? How can he actually not accept the facts even when they’re spoon fed to him? Is it a voluntary denial? Or is it a reflex action that has developed over years and years of voluntary denial? I do not intend to argue the whole ‘who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong’ here. That will be one heck of a long blog. I might touch up on it later though. Nothing is more fun than playing around with Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and screw up some gullible idiot’s perception.

I have a bad habit of drifting. Which might be good to an extent since it will ensure that I have a lot of matter for the blogs. But I should make it a point not to stray too far. Which I’m still doing. So, back to the topic at hand. The egotist’s myopia. Get your protests out of your system here. ‘Everyone has an ego, some have large ones; the other’s hardly raising a peep.’ Ego assures dignity and self-respect. Now that that’s over with, my point is to be blinded by your ego to irrefutable facts you would have to be abysmally obtuse.

Bypass the clichés here. It takes a brave man to admit his mistakes and the rest. It has got nothing to do with anything here. It’s plain and simple logic. If a homicidal maniac is caught red handed and he still denies the crime, that can be attributed to the fact that he is well, a maniac. Someone who has no control over his thoughts or actions or anything else. So if you’re caught with your pants down and you vehemently deny that you’re not wearing pants, even after being shoved in front of a mirror, dude there’s something wrong with you.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
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I Walk Alone

2006-10-08T00:42:00.000-07:00

How do you miss it? What are you blinded by? Why did you never expect it? Why does it change? Erosion? The Grand Canyon is a result of it. Flowing water and wind can be very persuasive. What changes a person? What forces erode their thoughts? And then people wonder why trust is such a huge thing to ask for. It’s like an ice sculpture I guess. Flawless and exquisite but at the end of the day it’s a puddle of water. Your vision, your ideas all come crashing down around you because what you hoped it would lead to has just suddenly hit you smack dab in the face.

How many times are people going to recite the clichéd ‘Man is a social animal’ to me? I’m sick of hearing that. Dependability should be restricted to material aspects. No one to share my dreams, my vision, my thoughts, because every one has an agenda of their own. So way I see it, Fuck It! I’ll walk alone.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

Disclaimer

2006-10-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

If you have noticed that some of the titles of my blogs are part of lyrics from certain songs, you’re not wrong. A lot of times other words inspire mine. People who are my fellow countrymen, i.e. Indian, might beg to differ on that considering that it’s the most clichéd line used by Bollywood filmmakers but then they’re allowed their opinion. I expect people who know me and more importantly understand my writing to look beyond that.

Incidentally, music gets my creative juices flowing more than anything else. I’m very sensitive to music and even the slightest of dynamics can define or alter the mood of the song for me. So if I use lyrics of songs or anything to do with music that would be the main reason behind it. My detractors are welcome to their derivations however.

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

It Takes All Kinds…

2006-10-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

(Contd. from ‘Transition…’)

So now I’m downstairs. I warm up. A stretch here a twist there. Boring stuff actually. Then go running. Once I come back, this is when the fun starts. Lady exiting the gate: Weighs roughly the same as a baby elephant with an ass which looks like it has a few slings supporting it. This is my question. WHY? Why does she have to wear clothes that tight? She definitely must be aware that she is an eye sore. She might be cracking a few mirrors every week. Do me a favour all you fat females out there, DO NOT wear spandex. Please spare my eyes from being FUBARed further.

Once I’m back from my run I’m generally using stuff around me for isometrics. In this brief span of time, I see that it indeed bloody takes all freakin’ kinds. First the fat women walking in the weirdest of clothes. At least I’m spared from further abuse to my eyes as not all of them wear spandex. It’s funny watching them. Full of grit and determination as they stride forward with smug looks at other people and me. Hah! I’m exercising. Soon I’m going to look like Elle McPherson. Excuse me? Do I make faces at you while I run? Or are you just trying to burn extra calories by scowling at me because you read somewhere that frowning utilizes more muscles?

Fat women, middle aged women trying to look cool and middle aged fat women who have accepted their fate and are now concentrating on annoying others. Where are the good-lookin’ and the hot women gone? I think I need to move. Actually if I wasn’t staying in this house alone and rent free I probably would have by now.

(Not exactly what I would call creative, but I like this feature. I might just make ‘It Takes All Kinds…’ a kind of irregular recurring feature. I have tons of people to complain about. I might just write on learning and women drivers next, along with the bane of human existence, women learners!)

Have a look at my world through the lens of a camera.
Visit Twisted Indifference at Flickr

Transition from Nocturnal to a Morning Person

2006-10-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

Four Months Ago:

Neo taking on dozens of Agent Smiths. The music grows louder. A hand moves silently groping through the darkness. Finds the cell phone which disturbed the slumber of the body that the hand belongs to. Burly Brawl at its loudest now. Eyes forced open. Squinting into the cell phone screen. 0600 hrs. Nah! Thought the head behind the eyes. I need more sleep. I must have been out of my mind thinking I could go running this early. I’m not a morning person. I’ll exercise tomorrow. I mean it’s… The thought never finishes. The body is back in suspended animation.

Two Months Ago:

Neo taking on dozens…Doesn’t finish. Alarm’s off; I’m up. It’s 0500 hrs. Stumble into the kitchen and start making tea. Waking up without complaining is one thing. Asking me not to have tea is something else. Have my tea and finish the morning chores. Slip into tracks, shoes and ankle weights and I’m downstairs. (To be contd.)

What I Really Am

2006-10-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like you were fighting a losing battle? When you finally realized that you were fighting a losing battle did you wonder why? Why are you still fighting? How come you never saw it coming? You were blinded by what you thought was good strategy. All it was in fact, just the mounting casualties. And you know what the ironic part is? The person you’re fighting isn’t even your enemy. It’s not good vs. evil; it’s not right vs. wrong. But you are fighting anyway.

All your lines of defenses have been torn to shreds. Actually you were the idiot who left the gates open. But then again, you never did expect it, so how were you to see it coming? The first wave left you reeling. Your foundations took a jolt. By time you steadied yourself, you could sense the next wave building up. You realize it’s time for a different strategy. Contain the rage within. Suppress the counter attack. But that never works does it?

The floodgates blast open and ends up in a free for all. The rules of combat, buried with the rotting remains of the last battle. You keep pushing without realizing that you’re literally hitting a brick wall head on with every attempt. The frustration is driving you wild, you cannot think straight. Every bloody attempt of yours to bring the situation under control just makes it worse. It begins to get so bad, I mean so bad that you stop comprehending your emotions and have absolutely no control over your body.

You exist in a completely different plane of thought. Disbelief of what you’ve been reduced to. Alternating between disgust and rage at the betrayal and then when the body can’t take it anymore you’re reduced to a state of mind that can only be described as diminished.

And yet, the battle still rages on. There is time to regroup and adopt different strategies but you don’t have any energy reserves left. You march forth into the final battle slowly realizing that you might not come back. You give it your best shot as always, but the knowledge of the heavy, impending failure drains you quickly.

Ever felt like you’re falling into dark bottomless pit? You feel the air rushing around you. How long before the sense of falling diminishes? If that is going to be your perpetual motion you’re not going to be aware of it continuously. Somewhat like breathing. Not really aware of it much till there is no air. And that is exactly what happens when the pain around you gets so intense, your mind adapts to it. Your mind, body and soul keep taking hit after hit, blow after blow till you have no life left in you. The final moments, the crescendo of the bloody orchestra makes you feel like every single freakin’ particle of your body’s going to implode. You feel like you want to break down and you don’t’ even know which emotion to trust. The pressure has reached its max and the clock, like a movie bomb stops at 1.

You’re falling. You can feel the air rushing around you. But that’s all your sensory receptors feel. Or allow you to feel. It’s like a drug. And then life moves on. The last few strands of grief disconnect and you’re out there living life like you’ve had the part of your brain controlling your emotions shut down.

This is Indifference. This was my world. I broke free and I think it’s beckoning again…

Back to Indifference

2006-10-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

I was a photographer. I could not draw and I wanted to show people what I saw. But even that had its limitations. I could not show them what I visualized; I could not make them understand my abstract. A picture might be worth the proverbial thousand words, but I plan to reduce the odds a little, make the picture at the most worth two hundred. I’m still a part of the media world. This is twisted indifference and words are my release. Welcome to my blog!